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Friday Night Features by dreamsinstatic

Text by petrova

Suggested Poems by PoetryToTheMasses


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Submitted on
August 1, 2011
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the smoke curls in the air, coming from her smudged red lips. it's exciting.
   "i don't love you," she tells him as she exhales another puff of cigarette smoke.
   "i need another one," is his only reply. it's all he cares about, she thinks. she passes him another tiny stress reliever and lights it for him, his own smoke curling above their guilty heads.
and that's all they'll ever be. guilty, guilty, guilty.
----
it's december. frost crusts at the windows, coating almost anything in sight. it's strange to think that this is some people's paradise. it was bitter and reminded her of herself too much. which meant another cigarette.
it's an addiction, yes, but she's quite alright with that.
----
   "i want to see how long we last,"
   "a game?"
   "i thought games were supposed to be fun," he replies in his same old indifferent tone. it's as if he's never felt an emotion. she's both jealous and sorrowful.
   "a test?"
he walks away. and even though she never wants to admit it, it stings.
----
she's alone outside. with no company but her small cigarette. people passing by give her looks of disgust, judgement and one or two of remorse. she doesn't care though. it makes her feel better. and if this is what it takes to feel normal again, she'll do anything. although, this fake, dirty feeling isn't normal. she's a liar now too.
----
they lay side by side in the old, lumpy california king bed. it's squishy, yet too big for two tiny bodies. they're not children, though her tiny body might fight against that fact.
it's late, too late to be awake. it's the hours between dusk and dawn when no living soul breathes a word of coherent thought. when not even the owls are up anymore. but she can't sleep anymore. she gave up that a long time ago. that's why her purple bags never left her face these days. her poor sleep deprived body just can't remember how to do it.
   "darling," his ugly voice murmurs. "you're not really awake right now, are you?"
   "i don't even know anymore."

grey smoke is all they smell.
is this even worth publishing on here?

doubtful
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:iconshenanygans:
Shenanygans Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011
This is beautiful and eerie. The sense of separation between the too and that slight hint that maybe it wasn't always like that, makes just a wonderful short story.
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:iconlyricmedlie:
lyricmedlie Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Student Writer
awww thank you so much! that's much too sweet of you! i'm so glad you think so. i love when my writing gets a person thinking and such, so thank you for doing such and then telling me about it. thank you for taking time to comment. thank you so very very much. :tighthug:
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:iconpetrova:
petrova Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011  Hobbyist
Fantastic :clap:
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:iconlyricmedlie:
lyricmedlie Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011  Student Writer
awwww thank you so very very much! :blush:
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:iconpetrova:
petrova Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011  Hobbyist
:hug:
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:iconkatlinsumnersmodel:
KatlinSumnersModel Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2011
I actually really loved this piece. Really well done.

If you actually want some constructive thoughts, I thought the very last excerpt was a little shaky in some parts compared to the others. Not in its design or intention, but in some of its writing.

I really did enjoy this though!
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:iconlyricmedlie:
lyricmedlie Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011  Student Writer
awww thank you so very much. that means so much to me.

yes, i love constructive thoughts. my absolute favorite. oh okay. how do you think i could improve it? thank you, though. that's very nice of you.

thank you so so so much! it means the world! :tighthug:
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:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2011
Your fantastic work has been featured in Friday Night Features
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:iconlyricmedlie:
lyricmedlie Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011  Student Writer
oh my goodness! that is so amazing!!! thank you so much! you're so very sweet! thank you! :tighthug: :blush:
Reply
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